Aftermath
by K'sChoiceofAFI
Summary: The aftermath of Nina pushing Rachel to kiss her opens up a can of worms that neither woman was prepared to deal with.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Aftermath

**Pairing: **Nina Theroux/Rachel Pirzad

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **The aftermath of Nina pushing Rachel to kiss her opens up a can of worms that neither woman was prepared to deal with.

**A/N:** I watched the most recent episode and just _had _to write something. This takes place just a few hours after Nina pushed Rachel to kiss her. This will probably be a 4 or 5 part series of them trying to mend the trust that was broken between them while exploring the feelings they didn't know the other had. Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Nina touched her fingertips to her lips, parted as if she was in awe.

Truthfully, she kind of was. Mere hours ago they had been wrapped up with Rachel in a dance that took them scant seconds to learn. Rachel's body was so soft, pushing against Nina as if Rachel had been the one to coax their little make-out session and not Nina.

Long fingers twitched as Nina ran them through thick, dark hair, remembering how they gripped Rachel's hips, possessively, as they both got lost in the moment.

No, _they_ hadn't got lost in the moment, Nina had, and she had been for a while. Ever since Rachel had moved out, Nina had turned rogue from Dr. Rosen, and was stumbling her way back into the life of reckless abandon and old habits she had fostered before she met him—her, Rachel.

Rachel had changed her the moment she had stepped into Nina's life, soothed Nina's rough edges with her soft, vulnerable presence that sometimes just screamed for someone to take care of her. And Nina was all too willing, offering her friendship, her very home to Rachel who had moved in across the hall with a tentative smile that made Nina lick her lips to think about; they still tingled from kissing Rachel.

Nina hadn't known that her timid former roommate who sometimes had trouble even verbally cutting people off during an argument of all things would be the aggressor when pushed. What was amusing was it didn't take much of a push. Just a mere suggestion, a light persuasion had Rachel falling into her arms and lips with brutal force that hinted at latent desire.

Pink, kiss bruised lips curled upward in dark amusement. It appeared that her former roommate was a lot more than meets the eye, not that it surprised Nina. She liked a little mystery, and her eyes didn't fall on Rachel just for her quirky, manic outer demeanor. She knew there was something hidden, something that Rachel didn't share, and it intrigued her all the more.

She felt the mattress dip beside her and Nina gripped the edges of it with both hands as she continued to stare down at the carpeted floors of the hotel room. They were probably filthy; in two seconds Rachel would be able to tell just what was embedded in it, what was unseen, if she were here.

Tommy tugged lightly on the back of her shirt like a neglected lover and Nina shrugged it off. His presence caused a heavy block of lead to settle into her stomach, guilt. She was pushing him, like she had pushed Rachel, except Tommy had no inclination of desire to live the life Nina had been forcing him to live the past several days.

She had missed her childhood friend, felt lonely without the presence of Rachel turning over furniture in their apartment to try to figure out 'what that smell was', and more than anything she had just wanted someone _there_. On impulse—she was so impulsive, to a fault—Nina had latched onto him when she saw him walking down the street and had been pushing him ever since.

A deep inhale was breathed through her nose, and she released it noisily. She casted a morose glance over her shoulder as she thought of just how alone she was going to be as she commanded him. "You're free to go now. Leave."

He jerked as if coming back to himself, and his lips parted, horror elongating his face. He looked positively grief stricken and sick, and Nina stood from the bed to give him a moment. She slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, twisting the lock.

There was shuffling on the other side of the door followed by angered grunting and swear words, and Nina clenched her eyes shut, reminded of her father for some reason.

When the noise on the other end subsided, she lifted off the door and opened it, expecting to find an empty hotel room. But she walked out of the bathroom and glanced down the hallway to be greeted with Rachel. She was standing a few feet away from the door with hunched shoulders but clenched fists as she glared directly at Nina.

Nina cocked her hip out in leisure, though her jaw tightened in a show of nerves as she sauntered forward. "How predictable." Her voice was a lulling purr that disagreed with the severity of the situation she had created, and Rachel stiffened as she approached. "How did you find me?"

Rachel folded her arms across her chest, leaving her hips exposed, the same hips Nina had had her hands resting on mere hours ago as if that moment was the most natural thing in the world and not a figment of her imagination that she made reality by violating her friend's trust and body. No matter, she threw those thoughts into the back of her mind and stalked closer to Rachel. "Was it your nose?" she prompted when Rachel's stiff upper lip meant she wasn't going to speak. "Your eyes? Did you see me from hundreds of yards away in a discreet hiding place and waited for the right moment to come and get me? Or did you hear me?" She felt distinctly betrayed, even though she had no right to be, when faced with Rachel being less than forthright for a change. Nina's eyes narrowed as she came to a stop a few feet in front of her "Or did you come here for more?"

Bingo. Chink in the armor. Rachel faltered as she always did when someone hinted at her and intimacy in the same sentence. She sucked in a scandalized breath, as if Nina suggested they fuck on the table on the other side of the room, and took a step back.

Nina surged forward once she found her advantage. "You were all over me, you know," she purred, taking a step closer. Rachel stepped back, and they began another dance, not entirely different from the push-pull of their lips at the club hours ago.

"You _pushed_ me," Rachel spat, displeased that she had to even use that sentence. She had trusted Nina from the very beginning, and felt wholly betrayed regardless of the fire that ignited in the pit of her stomach once she had followed Nina's suggestive tone of voice and finally given in to desires she had locked away long ago because she was sure Nina hadn't felt the same way, and, equally important, she didn't want to scare Nina off because of her peculiarities and over-sensitized senses.

Nina clucked her tongue in annoyance at the truth being shoved into her face. "I didn't have to push too hard," she argued back, stalking forward until Rachel's back hit the door.

"I didn't want it," Rachel insisted with an ever growing furrow in her brow. Her shoulders drooped in tension, and she looked away. "At least, not like that."

Nina sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, pensive, curious, and a bit guilty. She sighed and stepped back, running a hand through her hair in an anxious tick before locking her arms over her chest.

Rachel casted a glance at Nina from the corner of her eye. She was rubbing her arms up and down and staring holes through the floor, enough for Rachel to stand a little straighter against the door and gaze at her impassively. Nina had lost weight. Visibly, her clothes no longer fit her, and Rachel extended her sense of vision to inspect the split ends of what was once a luscious head of hair that now hung lifeless from Nina's head. Rachel noted that Nina hadn't been taking good care of herself. She didn't even smell the same as she used to when they were living together—a heady floral scent that Rachel would sometimes just zone out and hone in on her olfactory sense just to intensify the smell. She swallowed down the emotions that the memory stirred in her and sighed. "What happened to you, Nina?"

Nina jerked her head up to stare at Rachel coolly. "You wouldn't care," she bit out. "None of you would."

"You're not the same person; you're not my friend," Rachel told her with equal bite to her voice.

"Then get away from me."

"I can't allow you to continue acting like this. This is a very destructive path, Nina. Do you understand me?"

Nina gaze turned sardonic. "Yes, Dr. Rosen, I understand."

Rachel paled. "I am _nothing_ like Dr. Rosen. Not that there's anything wrong with him—"

"Of course not, he's a saint," Nina scoffed sarcastically.

Rachel ignored her statement. "I am not Dr. Rosen because I actually understand and can empathize with the fact that being an Alpha is more than a little tiring and can really grate on the psyche every once in a while." Rachel tossed her hands up in the minimal space between them. "I get it. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, like I could crawl right out of my skin because the city bus screeching to a halt eight blocks away from me is too loud. Or because week old melted cheese from a pizza is still clinging to the inside of the trashcan and it's just _rancid_."

Nina's eyes searched the carpeted floors unseeingly as she listened to Rachel rant about the hardships of dealing with her own ability. It was often easy to forget that Rachel was having trouble coping as well because she was so determined on the outside. But then she would talk about dating hardships and how she didn't think she could ever be physically intimate with someone after she had tried a few times and it had blown up in her face because of the sensory overload.

But Rachel dealt with all of that without allowing her abilities to control her, drive her to make rash, dangerous decisions, and Nina could kind of admit she wanted to be like her.

"But you can't let your abilities rule you," Rachel implored. She searched Nina's slouched posture for any sign that this was getting through to her. "You _pushed me_, Nina."

"I know," she sighed.

"I was _uncomfortable_ once I got back to my senses. I couldn't even look at you. My _friend_, my very best friend betrayed my trust for a cheap laugh."

"No, it—" Nina licked her lips, stalling to steel herself before she showed her cards too early. "It wasn't like that," she finished in a hushed voice.

"Then what was it like?" Rachel challenged. "You-you grabbed me in front of your latest boy toy and pushed me into kissing you—"

"Stop saying it like that," Nina gritted out through clenched teeth. "Stop acting as if you didn't like it, as if it wasn't something you didn't already want to do on your own."

Rachel didn't know if Nina was about to start pushing again or not and she averted her eyes and shouldered past Nina into the rest of the room. Nina dropped her hand to rest against the door and pivoted to lean back against it, facing Rachel who was just a few feet away.

Rachel wrapped her arms around her middle, once again uncomfortable at having partial blame for their earlier actions placed on her. She licked her lips absentmindedly as she vividly recalled how she lunged for Nina not once, but _twice_. She was…aggressive in that situation, though not normally. She was very much a wallflower, fragile and protective of her own feelings. It had felt scary and liberating, kissing Nina the way she had, so unabashedly. But it wasn't solely based on _her_ desire to do so and therein lay her issue with Nina violating her like that.

"It wasn't my decision to make," Rachel finally muttered.

Nina sighed, put out. "Had I not have pushed you, would you have ever made a decision?"

Rachel bristled, though her gaze fell to the floor as she admitted, "I don't know." She looked up sharply and leveled her eyes on Nina. "But don't you dare act as if what you did was some romantic gesture."

Haphazardly shrugging her shoulders that were weighted with guilt, Nina rested her head against the door as reality came crashing down upon her.

"You _violated_ me, Nina."

She had screwed up.

"I can't even begin to trust you. Being alone in this room with you right now already has me on edge."

And it took realizing that she had lost Rachel's trust for her to realize that she had lost everyone's trust. Her father whose eyes had tightened to suspicion after she had pushed him into staying and not breaking up their home, until he committed suicide, her ex-boyfriend who also committed suicide, Tommy, Dr. Rosen, Cameron, everyone else back at the office—Rachel.

Her chest tightened and her breath hitched as clarity passed over her. She felt like a slave to her own powers, as if she had pushed herself into pushing everyone else, but didn't voice that thought, because no one would appreciate her playing victim right now.

"Rachel," she whispered, voice thick, watery and tinged with desperation as she stepped closer.

Rachel stiffened and stepped back. "Nina, don't come any closer."

Nina sucked in her breath and bit her quivering lower lip, unwilling to cry and beg though her knees felt shaky in threat to give out until she was kneeling at Rachel's feet. "I'm sorry," she continued, averting her eyes. "I didn't—you mean so much to me," she explained. "And I would never want to betray your trust. I wasn't thinking."

"No, you weren't," Rachel agreed quietly, unable to scold Nina so coldly when she was visibly crumbling. "But that doesn't make it right."

"I know," Nina whispered.

"And just because I may have wanted it didn't give you the right to take that choice away from me."

"I know."

"I mean, damn it, Nina, what if it would have gone farther than that?" Rachel asked, distressed as she stared directly at her.

Nina's shoulders tensed at the question and she gritted her teeth in disgust. "I would have _never_ pushed you that far," she practically roared, eyes flashing in anger and fear at the very thought.

Rachel dug the toe of her flat into the carpeted floors. There was a spot of long ago spilled juice right in front of her and she side stepped it while glancing up at Nina, then back down to the floor. "I can't very well trust your promise, now can I?"

"Then why don't you just let me go?" Nina sighed wearily. This was beyond frustrating because she had lost the trust of one of the few people who had never been afraid of her, someone who had once trusted her enough to move in with her, be close to her, and now Rachel could barely make eye contact, afraid Nina would try something.

"Is that a plea or an order?" Rachel asked, then cringed when Nina visibly recoiled to look depressed and regretful. "At any rate," she pitched in to change the topic, "I can't let you go. Dr. Rosen thinks you're a danger to—"

"Everyone?" Nina guessed.

"Yourself," Rachel clarified. She wrung her hands together and took a hesitant step forward. "And I agree with him. I think that you…need to talk to someone, and that it needs to happen now."

Nina arched an eyebrow, casted a glance across the room to the balcony as she took a wild guess to whether or not Rachel had come here alone.

Not likely.

"And if I refuse?" she dared ask.

Rachel inhaled a deep breath. "If you refuse…then Dr. Rosen will be forced to turn you over to Nathan Clay."

Nina deflated back against the door and ran both hands through her hair in outward frustration. She gnawed harshly on her lower lip, looking like a trapped animal as Rachel approached.

"Please, Nina, just—come back and talk to Dr. Rosen. It's not too late."

"It is," Nina choked out. "I already lost everyone's trust—your trust."

Rachel's eyes softened the barest hint at the soft admittance. "Everyone makes mistakes."

"I violated your body and your trust," Nina argued. She sighed out a growl and sunk down against the door until she curled on the floor in a ball, knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them.

Tentatively, Rachel walked closer. She pulled down the hem of her skirt and knelt beside Nina. She could hear her own heart beat erratically against her chest, and could barely make out her own words that sounded muffled as they touched her ears. "You did," she agreed regretfully. "But, Nina, I-I care about you. And I would hate to see Dr. Rosen have to turn you over to Nathan Clay when really, all you need is some down time and someone to talk to."

Nina released a shaky sigh. Having someone to talk to would have been amazing several days ago before she had picked up Tommy, or over a year ago when she had accidentally driven her then boyfriend to commit suicide, or years ago when she was a little misguided girl who pushed her father to suicide in an attempt to keep her family together.

She felt a hand touch her cheek and sighed as Rachel wiped a tear away. Nina hadn't even known she was crying.

Rachel jerked back in surprise of her own actions once she saw Nina regain focus, causing her to as well. She had just watched the tear trickle from Nina's eye and felt compelled, genuinely and outside of Nina's abilities, to offer comfort.

Nina met her eyes briefly, then looked away when she saw flecks of hurt, betrayal and mistrust in dark brown eyes. "I'll talk to him," she whispered, if only to make it all go away—her demons, and the mistrust in Rachel's eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Aftermath

**Pairing: **Nina Theroux/Rachel Pirzad

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **The aftermath of Nina pushing Rachel to kiss her opens up a can of worms that neither girl was prepared to deal with.

* * *

Rachel touched her lips, days after 'the incident', as she had taken to calling it, and they still tingled. The ghost of the light pressure of Nina's lips against hers still made her skin prickle, though in arousal or dread, Rachel couldn't be sure. All she knew was that her skin was raised with goose bumps as she ran her hands down her arms and shifted in her seat.

She was sensitive, hyper-sensitive; her abilities made her that way. It didn't take much to overwhelm her, and the second she was assaulted with different odors in the club she and Cameron visited to find Nina, Rachel had already become overwhelmed. But she had found Nina's scent, faint as it was, and tracked her down.

Never in her life had it occurred to her that Nina could betray her like that. She had only been pushed once before by Nina, several weeks ago when they were working on a case. Rachel had been distressed and Nina grabbed her by the arms, established eye contact, and simply told Rachel that she was calm. It had worked and Rachel was able to work more efficiently afterward. But never in a million years had she thought that Nina, her friend, would use her powers for evil on her. Rachel didn't have very many friends. She had never trusted anyone enough with her sensitivities to make a friend. But she found companionship in Nina, a woman just like her, an alpha just like her. Nina had understood her, and never seemed to mind Rachel's quirks. In fact, she almost seemed charmed with how high-strung Rachel was.

And Rachel thought Nina was beautiful, confident enough to speak her mind the way Rachel wasn't. She admired Nina and wanted nothing more than to be like her in the hopes that one day she could finally stand up to her parents and tell them to stop setting her up with suitors, that she would find her own one day when she was actually ready to be intimate with someone.

Rachel had had three boyfriends in her life. Her first when she was seventeen; it didn't go very far. Her second when she was twenty-two, he had fumbled a hand under her shirt to cup her breast one day and she nearly blacked out from an orgasm. He found it funny, but she was mortified and wanted nothing more to do with physical intimacy, him. She didn't date for a long time after that. Her most recent boyfriend was almost two years ago, and though he was patient, Rachel broke it off because she didn't know when she would ever be ready for sex and didn't want to keep him waiting.

The closest she had been to anyone since then was Nina. She had moved in with Nina, grateful to escape her parents after Nina had offered. They lived right across the hall from each other, so it was inevitable for them to see each other in various states of undress from time to time. Nina never seemed to mind catching a glimpse of Rachel when she was clumsy enough to allow her towel to slip from the grip of her damp, slippery fingers after a shower. Nina would respectfully look away and wave her hand to cut off Rachel's sputtering apology, casting a sideways glance with a curve of her lips to simply tell her it was all right.

Seeing Nina naked for the first time had been awkward for Rachel. It was after midnight on a weekend and she was stumbling out of her bedroom, rubbing at her sleepy eyes in search of the bathroom. She was walking closer to the closed door when it opened, steam chasing out of it, followed by Nina, lithe and trim, bare as the day she was born. Rachel's eyes, that had been slits in her sleepy state, widened comically and she clamped a hand down over them and squeezed her eyes shut when the image of Nina's pale, wet skin flashed even under her eyelids. She blacked out her vision all together in favor of her sense of touch—something benign for her current situation. Nina had been calling her, but Rachel couldn't hear, only feel, and the next thing she felt was a warm hand burning through her night shirt and into her shoulder. She stepped back with a gasp and her eyes popped open again as she decreased her sense of touch. Nina was still naked and Rachel sputtered out an apology while her eyes found the ceiling.

Nina's laugh had been low and sultry that time of night as she offered a breezy apology in return. _I didn't expect you to be awake_, Nina had told her. _And I figured, why waste a towel when I could just hop out of the shower and go straight to my room?_

Rachel bit her lip pensively at the memory. She had seen Nina in various states of undress since then, including once when she was with Cameron.

And every time Nina had been beautiful.

"Yo, Rach?"

Rachel jerked and knocked over a pencil on her desk. She winced and covered her rapidly flushing face. "I'm sorry."

Cameron laughed a little and pushed off the doorframe to walk further into her office. He dug the toe of his shoe under the pencil and flicked it upward, catching the pencil in his right hand. "Don't worry about it. I startled you," he soothed as he placed it back on her desk.

She leaned back into her seat and crossed her legs as Cameron rested back on the edge of her desk. His jaw was tense with flexing tendons and a five o'clock shadow that he needed to trim. Rachel ran her gaze over him. He was wearing his black leather jacket which meant that he had just arrived from somewhere, and he looked…somber. "Is something wrong, Cameron?"

He turned to look at her then turned back to the wall of her office. It was filled with pictures of Rachel's parents. She was passionately devoted to them, though at times they stomped on her last nerve like no one's business, especially her mother.

"I went to see her today," he muttered after a moment.

Rachel swallowed, and shifted in her seat, re-crossing her legs and tugging at the hem of her skirt. Her voice was tense but quiet when she asked, "How is she?"

"She's still being detained."

Her eyes tightened. "What has she done no—"

"By her own will," Cameron added. He cut her a look, and Rachel glanced away. "She feels as if she's a danger to everyone. You know how she gets."

His expression was expectant, as if he was looking for Rachel to offer words of comfort, and Rachel just fidgeted with the hem of her blouse as her eyes found her wooden desk. "Has Dr. Rosen spoken with her today?"

Cameron scratched at his head and widened the distance between his feet on the floor, lips twisting. "He's there now trying to talk some sense into her."

"How does she look?" Rachel asked before she could stop herself. Nina had appeared frail and scared the last time Rachel had seen her, and the image had been haunting her for nearly a week.

"Better," he admitted. "She looks a lot better. And Dr. Rosen's getting her to eat, so…"

"That's good," Rachel mumbled, not knowing what else to say. She clenched her eyes shut in frustration because the part of her that felt betrayed was warring with that part of her that cared deeply for Nina and wanted to help her more than anything.

"She keeps asking about you."

Rachel's eyes popped open, dark and swirling with a wide depth of conflicting emotions.

"She wants to see you," Cameron added in the thickening silence.

Rachel sighed. "I don't know, Cameron."

"Please?" He twisted where he sat on the desk to better face her. "She just needs to know that she hasn't hurt you, that you're okay."

"I _am_ hurt," Rachel insisted. "My best friend took advantage of me, my trust, for a cheap thrill on her joyride back to whatever life of manipulation she lived before we all joined together."

"She cares about you. And she isn't even going to begin to get better until she at least knows that you don't hate her the way she thinks you do."

Rachel slumped back in her seat and pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. "This shouldn't be my responsibility," she muttered.

"No, it shouldn't. But she's a fellow alpha. And she's our friend. And when one of us falls, we all help pick them back up." His voice was quiet as he admitted, "I would know."

"That's just it—she isn't just some _friend_. I've told her things I've never told anyone in confidence and she just turned right around and told them to that Tommy-boy. I _care_ about her, was devoted to her, and—"

Cameron stood abruptly and swiveled to walk around the desk. He tugged on Rachel's arm when she choked the last of her words out and pulled her toward him. She collapsed against him with a sob, and he rubbed her hair with a sigh. "The more you care about someone, the more unbearable it feels when they let you down," he mumbled.

Rachel just nodded against his shoulder, unable to speak when her breathing kept hitching.

"But everyone makes mistakes, Rach," he told her. "Granted, not everyone has the power to make a mistake like Nina's. But we're humans first, alphas second. And as humans…we're prone to more than a few screw ups in our lives. As alphas, our screw ups are probably going to be a lot more catastrophic."

She hugged him tighter and absorbed his words with a sigh. "Would you have forgiven her if she did this to you?"

He pulled back to gawk at her. "Are you kidding me? She's a great kisser—all would be forgiven."

Rachel let out a derisive grunt. "I'm serious, Cameron," she intoned earnestly, though she began to blush in memory of just what he was talking about.

"Eventually. She has a habit of pushing people," he admitted. "It's become something like a crutch for her. But I think the way you reacted to her woke her up a little. She knows she's gone too far. And I think that she's learned, Rach."

Rachel rubbed her lips together in thought. There was nothing to lose in visiting Nina; she just knew that her strong resolve to stay angry would break at the sight of her. But she really just needed to know that Nina was safe and recovering. "I want you there with me," she told Cameron in a surprisingly strong tone of voice that brooked no argument.

Cameron agreed readily, probably just happy that she decided to go at all.

* * *

"Are you listening to me?"

Nina lolled her head to the side to face Dr. Rosen.

He tilted his head to give her a knowing look. "You can't keep getting lost in your thoughts, Nina. If you keep living in the past you'll never move past it."

Her hands clenched from where they were on the bed, bound by shackles on her wrist. She had been latched to her bed and blindfolded days ago by nurses who were afraid that she would use her abilities on them. Now, days later, she had been offered to have them permanently removed, but chose to keep them, though Dr. Rosen had removed her blindfold days ago. She felt like a monster, and monsters didn't really deserve to have freedom. Thus, she wouldn't leave until she no longer felt like one.

Dr. Rosen sighed in the silence that lingered between them. He rubbed at his bunched eyebrows and leaned back in the seat beside Nina's bed. "You did a good thing—letting Tommy go."

Nina pursed her lips in contempt. "I did an even worse thing when I took hostage of him and tricked him into thinking he actually wanted to be with me," she muttered.

He sighed again. This was how it had been the past several days. He would highlight all the good she had done, and she would negate that with a bad thing she had done. Though Dr. Rosen took solace in the fact that Nina could actually recognize that she had done wrong, because he had worked with patients in the past that couldn't even recognize their own wrongdoings.

"You're a good person, Nina," he told her.

Nina stared directly at him, intensely, and she noted, somewhere in the back of her mind, that Dr. Rosen didn't look away. She had many misgivings about the man before her, but she had to admit that he never _feared_ her or any alpha for that matter, and it was always somewhat comforting to know that. "Am I?" she challenged.

"You're—"

"Rachel confided in me and I betrayed her trust in the worst ways possible."

He nodded curtly. "Yes, but—"

"But—" She paused and chewed on her lower lip in thought. "Dr. Rosen, that was the only way I saw to get past her without hurting her," Nina finally explained. "I told her that I wasn't going back to talk to you, and she insisted, so I threatened her."

Dr. Rosen frowned. "Nina—"

"It was an empty threat," she cut in with a roll of her eyes. "Obviously. And I'm sorry for betraying her trust, but it was either that, or push her into fighting Cameron." She shrugged a shoulder. "It was the only way I saw for me and Tommy to get out of there without physically harming her."

Dr. Rosen was quiet for a moment as he removed his glasses from his face. He flipped up the tail of his shirt and cleaned them off before placing them back on his face. "Do you want to know what I think?"

Nina rolled her tongue around in her mouth in exasperation. "Why not?"

"I think that what you did, while very misguided and ultimately detrimental to Rachel as she deals with her abilities—"

Nina sniffed. "Is there a bright side?"

His lips twitched in threat of a smile. "The bright side is that you obviously care about Rachel and felt that you were acting in her best interest. Even though I would argue differently, I respect that, in the heat of the moment, you did what you thought you had to do in order to keep from physically injuring her."

A tear slid down her cheek and she clenched her hands tightly, wanting to wipe it away. Instead, she turned away from Rosen so he wouldn't see. "I just don't want her to hate me," she whispered candidly.

Dr. Rosen went to reply when he heard a timid knock on the other side of the door. Nina froze then casted a glance to the door. She looked over at Rosen and he shrugged with raised eyebrows. "It could be a nurse," he suggested as he stood.

Nina rubbed her lips together nervously as Rosen grabbed the doorknob. He twisted it open to find Rachel standing with her hands clasped in front of her on the other side, Cameron just behind her.

Dr. Rosen blinked once then twice in surprise before stepping aside with a proud smile and allowing her entry. "Rachel, it's good to see you." He nodded toward Cameron with a grateful smile that Cameron returned.

Rachel firmed her lips and nodded before stepping inside. "Hello, Dr. Rosen." She hesitated as she allowed her gaze to wash over Nina chained to the bed. She looked apprehensive, lip caught between her teeth with clenched hands fisted into the bed sheets. Rachel cleared her throat and took a step closer. "Hi, Nina."

Nina released her bottom lip to smile tentatively. "Hi, Rachel. It's good to see you." Her voice was uncharacteristically docile, and it settled warmly in Rachel's chest against her will.

Dr. Rosen took a step back. "I'm sure you girls have a lot you need to discuss."

Rachel spun around to face him with widened eyes. "Dr. Rosen—"

"I'll be right outside," he assured with a nod of his head and an encouraging smile. He walked out of the door and casted a glance between Rachel and Nina before closing the door behind him to join Cameron on the other side.

Rachel dipped her head and rubbed her hand up and down her arm, uncomfortable to be left alone with her former friend.

"You can sit over here," Nina offered in the deafening silence between them. When Rachel's gaze shot up to meet hers, her own eyes widened. "If you want," she was quick to clarify. "I wasn't trying to…push you or anything."

"I know," Rachel said quietly. She walked toward the seat beside Nina's bed and clasped her hands together in her lap after she sat down. "You look good," she offered after a moment.

Nina smiled self-consciously and dropped her gaze. "They've been making me eat."

"That's a good thing." Rachel gestured vaguely toward her as her gaze roamed over Nina's torso in assessment. "When I saw you five days ago, you were skin and bones."

Nina nodded, not quite meeting Rachel's critical gaze. She knew more than anything that Rachel was honing in on her sight to briefly scrutinize her.

"But you look much better now," Rachel spoke again to fill the silence between them. "Healthy." She bit her lip to stop herself from talking. There had only been three moments in her life that she had felt awkward when around Nina: when they first met, when she first saw Nina naked, and when she had caught Nina and Cameron together on the couch. This would make the fourth time, and all she wanted to do was fill the silence between them with useless words.

"I'm sorry."

Rachel looked up as the heavy sound of regret coating Nina's voice fell on her ears. Her chest constricted and she forced out an audible breath as she shifted in her seat. "Why did you do it, Nina? Why did you kiss me and why did you tell Tommy those very personal facts about me?"

Nina looked up at the ceiling, praying for some form of strength to get through this when all she wanted to do was run and hide from the pain she had caused showing clearly in Rachel's eyes. "I, uh, I was explaining that to Dr. Rosen earlier—why I kissed you."

When Rachel didn't say anything, she continued. "Do you really want the truth?" Nina asked, tasting the word on her tongue. She wasn't truthful a lot of the time. She had a shady past filled with lies and manipulation. She had betrayed Rachel's trust, but there was no way she could lie to her, not now. "Part of it—the reason why I kissed you was because I wanted to."

In light of their conversation five days ago when both parties shared a candid argument that had been building inside of them, the revelation didn't come as a surprise to Rachel. Still, the thought of someone as beautiful as Nina wanting to kiss her left her a little breathless and her voice was soft when she asked, "How long have you wanted to kiss me?"

Nina tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, feeling slightly embarrassed and exposed with her hands shackled to the bed the way they were. "A while."

"Since before I moved out?" Rachel asked, curious.

Nina nodded.

"Before…Cameron?"

"Oh, yeah," Nina laughed self-deprecatingly. She turned to look at Rachel, her gaze washing over her features and she smiled lopsidedly. "You're very...cute."

Rachel flushed at the compliment and looked down to her fidgeting hands. She was not going to feel flattered by Nina's compliment; she was _not_. Her hands closed into fists as if to hold onto her anger and hurt and not allow it to slip away the second Nina flashed her a coy smile.

"Also," Nina added once Rachel failed to respond, "I thought that was the only way to disable you without hurting you."

"Well, I suppose that didn't work out too well," Rachel responded coolly.

"Physically—I wanted to make sure you weren't hurt physically. Look, I explained this to Dr. Rosen. It was either disable you by overwhelming your senses, or push you into fighting Cameron."

Rachel winced at thought of how many bruises would be littering her body right now had Nina pushed her to fight Cameron. She rubbed her lips together as she mulled over Nina's words. There was no excuse for the way Nina violated her, but Rachel could admit that she wouldn't have wanted to get roughed up by Cameron either if she flew off the handle while under Nina's control and he had to defend himself.

She frowned suddenly then asked, "Why did you tell him about me?"

Nina's eyebrows shut up along her forehead in surprise at the question. "I—"

"There is absolutely no excuse for telling him something so personal about me," Rachel stage-whispered harshly. "He knows that I can have _orgasms_ from _kissing_, Nina."

"I know, and I'm sorr—"

"And I only told you that because you wanted to know!"

Nina inhaled a deep breath and released it through her nose, surprised that Rachel had cut her off so many times. "I'm an awful person," she finally sighed heavily.

"No." Rachel's voice was sharp and firm, and Nina met her eyes. "You can't just write this off as you being an awful person and think that I'll feel sorry for you. I want an explanation, Nina. Please. As a friend, you owe me that much."

Nina looked deeply into the fire she saw burning in Rachel's eyes. She liked this confident version of Rachel and only wished it didn't have to be brought out in anger, anger directed at her. She picked nervously at the bed sheets under her hand. "We were just talking," she explained. "And Tommy was curious, curious about everyone's abilities. So I told him what we all did: Cameron and his hyperkinesis, Gary and his ability to interact with wireless communication and signals, Bill and his superstrength, you."

Rachel sat back in her seat. "What about me?"

"I just told him that you can enhance any of your five senses, but that enhancing one disables the other four. And then Tommy asked if it got to be a little overwhelming for you sometimes, and I told him that dating specifically is a bit of a challenge for you because…sometimes kissing can become too much for you." She shrugged a shoulder. "Then he just guessed." She looked up at Rachel, imploring her to understand. "But he didn't think you were weird or anything, Rach. He was just fascinated."

"Fascinated," Rachel scoffed with a derisive laugh. "He was fascinated by me?"

Nina frowned, not liking her tone. "You're fascinating."

Rachel looked away. "Don't try to flatter me in order to get on my good side, Nina."

Nina's lips twitched with a small smile despite the situation. "Rach, I've heard you talk about your suitors enough to know that flattery doesn't get anyone anywhere with you," she couldn't help but tease.

Rachel found herself coiffing her hair for some unknown reason while Nina's dark, unwavering gaze was on her. Her 'suitors' as she had taken to calling them were the men that her parents tried to set her up with occasionally—all the time. They were all successful in varying degrees, doctors, lawyers, that Rachel wasn't interested in and wouldn't be interested in until she could find a way to control her senses because kissing for a prolonged period of time overwhelmed her.

Her lips quirked the tiniest bit as she admitted, "I saw one of them the other night, at the club."

Nina knew an opening when she saw one and latched onto the semblance of normalcy that Rachel was briefly offering. "Which one?" she asked, voice eager and hopeful for what this moment really meant, that they may have a chance to get back on track.

Rachel's eyes shined with happiness that Nina was playing along and she licked her lips. "Stephen."

Nina groaned. "The bad dancer?"

She giggled and nodded her head. "And he was dancing, flailing arms, the whole thing."

"You better be happy he didn't spot you." A teasing smile flirted along Nina's lips. "He would have pulled you close and made you dance along and embarrass you in front of everyone."

Rachel covered her face in mock mortification of what could have been. "Don't make me laugh," she instructed through another giggle.

Nina's eyes softened at the sight of the smile on Rachel's face. "I'm sorry."

Her voice was suddenly heavy again and Rachel sobered up to stare at her, throat bobbing with a tight swallow as she recognized that this apology encompassed everything. "I know," she said softly.

"I'm hoping we can be friends again," Nina ventured, rather boldly, all things considered. She wanted much more than that, especially after the kiss they had shared that she couldn't stop thinking about, but felt that wasn't even in the cards after what she had done.

Rachel's hands were back to fidgeting anxiously in her lap. "I hope so, too." It was silent again and she dropped her gaze from Nina's scrutinizing eyes. She cleared her throat and scooted forward in her seat. "Well, I guess I should go now."

Nina sat up more on the bed as if to protest Rachel's departure, though she didn't say anything. Her hands clenched into fists against her bed sheets as she simply whispered, "Okay."

Rachel nodded and stood from her seat. "You, umm, you look good," she offered, clasping her hands in front of her and regarding Nina. "Really good."

The last of her statement was said softly, almost as an afterthought, and Nina's eyebrows rose along her forehead in intrigue. "Thanks, you, too," she mumbled. "Asking for a hug would probably be too much…"

Rachel took her bottom lip between her teeth. "Probably," she admitted.

Nina just nodded, and dropped her gaze. She suspected as much, and briefly lamented over the fact that she had lost that privilege. But then she felt slim arms about her neck that tightened as Rachel leaned closer. Nina felt her breath hitch at the soft, warm feeling of reassurance that Rachel's hug brought and she nuzzled closer, unable to fully return the embrace.

Rachel felt warm, fuzzy, her mind hazy as she soaked up the feel, and smell of Nina. She breathed deeply as her eyes slipped shut. She didn't smell exactly the same, and the chemistry of what lay behind her smell, hospital soap, was very different from her normal body spray that drove Rachel insane when they lived together. Her thumb rubbed absentmindedly over the back of Nina's neck and Rachel transferred her concentration from her sense of smell to her sense of touch. Each wisp of Nina's hair tickled the pad of Rachel's thumb with its softness. Her skin was warm and firm under her fingers and Rachel leaned closer to bury her nose into Nina's hair that now tickled her face.

Nina had called Rachel's name twice, and knew after the second time when she didn't get a response that Rachel was lost in one of her senses, thus her sense of hearing was disabled for now. It was often risky for Rachel to do this because of how vulnerable it left her, and the fact that she chose to do it now while in her presence offered solace to Nina who was sure Rachel would never trust her again. She remained quiet as Rachel hugged her for a few seconds more before pulling way.

It was much longer than a customary, friendly hug, and Rachel looked away, mildly embarrassed at allowing her senses get the best of her. But Nina smelled good, and she wanted to smell more. And she had felt good, and Rachel wanted to feel more, so she extended her senses regardless of the fact that she was supposed to be upset right now, unforgiving right now.

"I should probably go," she muttered and stepped away from the bed.

Nina remained quiet as she watched Rachel walk away, grateful for the opportunity to just see her.

Rachel got halfway to the door then spun around to face Nina. "Are you coming back?" she asked.

Nina nodded with a dry expression. "Idle hands are the devil's plaything," she explained while jiggling her hands within the shackles.

Rachel's mouth quirked at the proverb. It was oddly fitting for her friend. "Yes, they are," she agreed. She hesitated then admitted, "I'm glad to have you back."

"Thank yo—"

"But don't think that means I trust you. Maybe with my life, but not with _me_."

Nina's gaze dropped. "I understand."

She looked wholly chastened, and Rachel turned away before she had the chance to study the downturn of Nina's lips and break her resolve. She hurried to the door and grabbed the doorknob, but casted one more glance behind her. "Nina," she called softly. When Nina looked up at her, she almost smiled. "You should let them take those shackles off," she told her. "You aren't a slave to your own abilities anymore."

Nina sucked in a breath and held it, unable to even choke out a goodbye as Rachel closed the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Aftermath

**Pairing: **Nina Theroux/Rachel Pirzad

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **The aftermath of Nina pushing Rachel to kiss her opens up a can of worms that neither girl was prepared to deal with.

* * *

Nina bit her lip pensively as she stared at the ascending floor numbers on the elevator. Today was her first day back at work. The knowledge that she would see everyone again for the first time since they all met her outside of her hotel room to escort her to the hospital—where she was kept for psychiatric evaluation—made her stomach knot in anxiety. She had already met with Rachel, Dr. Rosen, and Cameron. But she wasn't ready to tackle Bill and Gary, arguably the hardest two people in their tight-knit group to win over.

The elevator doors parted and the frown lines of consternation grew deeper in Nina's forehead as she stepped out to be greeted with…Gary walking across the hall in only a towel?

"Gary?" she croaked out in bewilderment without thought.

He kept his head down and offered a brief, none-too-friendly wave—as if he were really just giving Nina the hand—as he continued into his office without breaking stride.

If anyone else had done that to her, Nina would have assumed they didn't like her very much, but Gary was always a little different. He wasn't one for affection, physical or verbal, so she didn't know just how to interpret his little snub of her just now.

He had looked like a ghost, pale and gangly, and as soon as he was gone, Nina questioned whether or not she had actually seen him. She walked further into the hallway, confused and dazed as she mumbled to herself, "Am I missing something here?"

"Gary moved out from living with his mom and Dr. Rosen told him that he can live here until he finds a place of his own. Oh, and he likes taking morning showers. Isn't that right, Gary?" Rachel supplied in her usual morning-chipper voice. Nina swiveled around to find Rachel walking toward her with a tiny grin on her face.

"My alarm, Rachel! Sometimes it doesn't go off at the specified time!" Gary yelled from his office in indignation.

Rachel's grin grew in amusement, and Nina felt her tense shoulders ease into her lavender collared shirt at the sight of a familiar face smiling at her. "Good morning," she offered as Rachel came to a stop in front of her, looking at her with shining eyes.

"Good morning," Rachel replied in a soft voice, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She had a tall cup of coffee in her hand, the other hand being tucked behind her back to keep from fidgeting in nervousness. "It's nice to see you back here again—not that I'm _happy_ to see you," she stammered.

Nina frowned, and Rachel attempted to sputter out a reply that wouldn't seem so scathing.

"Not that I'm _not_ happy to see you, either. It's just that—" She gave up and sighed at the wilting expression on Nina's face. "This is hard, Nina."

"It is," Nina agreed in a defeated murmur. She placed a hand on her hip and rubbed at her eyebrow with her other hand. "Look, I'm sorry, Rach."

"I know, and I accept your apology." Rachel swallowed and forced herself to meet Nina's gaze with large, doe eyes. "I just—" There wasn't a proper way that she knew of to express the fact that the reason why she felt so jumbled and confused was because there was a part of her that wanted Nina and a part of her that was reluctant to even be around her. "I'll try," she finally sighed, though she didn't know what that truly meant. "Anyway, it's-it's great to have you back."

A sigh shifted Nina's chest as she glanced up to the fluorescent lights beaming down on her, and over to everyone's personal office. "It's good to be back," she admitted. And in a weird way, it was. Since teaming up with her fellow alphas to take down the bad ones, she had found her own little niche here in being the good guy, something she thought impossible with the curse of her ability. But one day at a time she had learned and was still learning that there was a place for her on the right side of the law.

They both startled when they heard a door slam, and Nina turned around to find Gary's office door closed. She gestured to it in befuddlement.

"He's changing his clothes, and unless you want to see his 'fruit' you'll stay clear."

Her lips twitched in amusement. "He calls it…his fruit?"

Rachel shook her head good-naturedly. "You know Gary, very eccentric."

She hummed, noting that nothing had changed for the most part aside from Gary now living in the office. She briefly wondered if he was scared at night while staying here before she turned back to Rachel. "Is everyone else here?"

"Bill's in his office, and so is Cameron and Dr. Rosen." Rachel looked at her oddly for a moment, then shook her head. "I should probably get back to my own now." She smiled, almost shyly at the sight of Nina in front of her, dressed to kill in a collared shirt with two buttons undone to tease her vision with just a glimpse of her collarbone. Her skirt was simple and black, just above the knee, and her heels enhanced the height over Rachel she already had. Rachel took her in with a deep inhale. She smelled like _Nina_ once again, and Rachel resisted the urge to personally reacquaint herself with the smell. That would be just a tad unprofessional right now. "It's good to have you back," she felt the need to reiterate after her flub earlier.

Nina shrugged with a roguish grin as if this was all no big deal, though she was elated as well. "Remind me to never leave again."

"Deal." There was a promise set deep in Rachel's eyes, and she bid Nina goodbye to continue down the hallway with her coffee.

Nina turned to watch her go as she sauntered up to Gary's door. She knocked twice and leaned on the doorframe. "Gary, is your…fruit decent?"

There was nothing but muttering on the other side of the door, then it was jerked open a moment later. Nina stepped inside as Gary walked away, over to the couch that he had made his bed, with Rachel's blanket that she had smelled his nudity on by way of dead skin cells the night after he used it—needless to say she didn't want it back. Gary grabbed his towel that he had dried off with and began to fold it.

Nina walked closer with a hesitant smile. "Hi, Gary." He didn't reply straight away, and she continued. "It's good to see you again."

Gary, cut her a look, then walked away to his closet. "We're a team, Nina."

She knew that tone of voice, and popped her lips as she walked over to the chair in front of his desk and sat down. He was about to berate her. But the fact that he was talking to her at all was a miracle.

"I know," she replied quietly.

"And team members don't do what you did," he continued. He turned around to face her with a stern furrow in his brow. "You left us."

Nina nodded, and rubbed her lips together as guilt weighed heavy on her chest once more. "I know, Gary."

"You made Rachel cry, and you did a bunch of other things. You're not supposed to push people in a bad way, Nina. A-and you did."

Gary often spoke through his thought process, connecting one thought to the next to create a coherent stream of events going through his mind, and Nina knew that this wasn't going to be over until he got all of his thoughts out.

"And you were my friend," he told her. "My friend who sometimes hugged me and kissed my cheek—you know I don't like that, but that's beside the point right now."

She huffed out a small laugh in memory of the last time she had wrapped him up in a big hug and planted a kiss against his cheek. He had been so upset.

"It's not funny," Gary insisted. "You left us, and you betrayed us."

Nina sobered up immediately. "I did," she agreed.

"And now you're back," he added. "So—stay this time."

She nodded, swallowing a lump of emotion down her throat, and stood from her seat. "I will, Gary, I will." She walked closer and Gary flinched when she wrapped him in a hug.

"Ah—Nina, get off me! You know I don't like touching." He twisted in her grip and she only hugged him tighter with a fond smile, as if he were her younger brother, before releasing him.

"Thank you, Gary. And I'm glad we had this talk."

Gary nodded. "Okay, but you have to go now because I have work to do."

She bit her lip to stifle a smile and nodded. "Okay, Gary. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Nina."

Once she was outside of his office, Nina breathed a relieved sigh. That had gone much better than she had expected. She continued down the hall on her path of redemption and knocked lightly on Cameron's open door. He looked up at her from at his desk, smiled, and hopped up to walk over to her. He hesitated just as he was about to give her a hug and settled for rubbing her shoulder instead. "Glad you're back."

Nina gave him a lopsided, awkward smile as she followed behind him toward his desk. She doubled back to close the door, then walked over to sit in the chair in front of his desk. "This feels weird," she admitted after a moment.

Cameron pursed his lips and shook his head. "Don't know what you're talking about."

Nina tilted her head to give him a dry look.

He leaned back in his seat and asked, "How's it going with Rachel?"

She just shook her head. "I don't even _know_. She's giving me so many mixed signals right now."

"Well, you did do the equivalent of sucker punching her in the mouth—just, you know, with your lips."

Nina let loose a tiny whimper of despair that she would never admit to and buried her face in her hands. "It was nearly two weeks ago, though."

"You of all people know how hard it is for Rachel to let anyone in, Nina," Cameron told her in a stern yet gentle voice.

"I know, I know, I just—" Her eyes began to sting and she blinked them rapidly to halt her tears.

Cameron took pity on her and glanced away. He strummed his fingers against his desk as he rapidly thought of a subject change, then focused his eyes back on Nina a moment later. "How was making up with Gary?"

Nina blurted out a watery chuckle against her will. "He chewed me out. Big time."

Cameron laughed and eased back into his seat. "Gary makes sure everyone's in line. It's his job."

"He acts like it," was her wry retort.

They grew quiet, companionable silence befalling them, and Nina stared at him for a long moment. "Thank you."

He shot her a bemused look. "For what?"

"Just—for never judging me. You've been angry with me before, rightfully so, but…you've never once passed judgment on me."

"Former alkies can't judge anyone for anything," Cameron informed her with a playful smile. "That's like, a rule or something."

"There are worse things than an alcoholic, Cameron." She knew his former drinking problem was a sore spot for him, because his drinking had led to him being a neglectful parent before his now ex-wife had served him with divorce papers.

He nodded in acknowledgement. "Yeah, but you're not one of them."

Their silence was once again an amiable one as they both lamented over the fact that…they weren't perfect. They had flaws both as alphas and humans alike.

When her thoughts began to grow dark, something Dr. Rosen had warned her about, Nina stood from her seat in search of something more productive to chase the demons away. She hooked her thumb of her shoulder. "Well, I gotta go see Bill, so…"

Cameron raised his eyebrows. "Good luck with that."

"I'll need it." Nina gave him a tiny wave and walked to the door.

"If it helps at all…she cares about you, you know," Cameron offered to her back as Nina twisted the doorknob.

She froze where she stood at the abrupt subject change and rubbed her lips together. "I know," she admitted.

"_More_ than you know," he added.

Her head tilted as she slowly turned around to face him with a furrow in her brow. "Do you know something I don't know?"

He smiled at their back and forth banter. "I don't know."

Nina's eyes narrowed at the enigmatic grin adorning Cameron's face. But she tucked that tidbit of information into her back pocket and walked out the door. From across the hall she saw a pair of conflicting dark eyes watching her before Rachel quickly glanced away.

Nina also tucked _that_ into her back pocket and soldiered on to right wrongs within the office.

"Bill?" she called and knocked on his open door.

Bill glanced up at her and leaned back in his seat. "Well, well, well, look who came slinking back in."

Nina closed the door with a sigh. She beckoned his rant by waving her hand. "Let me have it."

Bill shrugged. "Welcome back," was all he said.

She froze in her newly taken seat in front of his desk. "Wait—that's all you have to say?"

He steepled his fingers on the desk and met her gaze, almost sheepishly. "I've nearly quit this place I don't know how many times—in reality, in my head."

The candid comment was said quietly, under his breath as if he were talking to himself, and Nina appreciated the bare honesty of it.

"It gets to be too much sometimes, you know? Like we're under a microscope and everyone's watching our every move because they don't trust us even though we're the ones saving them from the bad ones that are like us." He sighed. "Everyone handles the pressure in a different way."

"I guess I handled it in a bad way," Nina sighed after a moment.

"So handle it better next time," he instructed, and Nina met the forceful determination in his eyes. "And stop throwing yourself a pity party."

* * *

Throwing herself back into her work for the past few days had done wonders for keeping her mind busy, keeping her from slipping back into self-pity as Bill had instructed. She was determined to prove herself as someone who could be trusted, a team player as Gary had demanded of her. And she did it all while attempting to not be too hard on herself, as Cameron and even Dr. Rosen had cautioned. She was human, an alpha who made a mistake that she couldn't take back. And all she could do now was try to repair bridges.

"Rachel?" she called softly, knocking on the door frame of her office she was leaning against.

Rachel swiveled around in her chair from her computer to find Nina standing in her doorway. She could hear her heart rate pick up just from the sight of her. Her hands clenched against the desk. "Hi."

Nina took a cautious step forward. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, sure, just—you can have a seat—if you'd like."

The awkwardness between them had yet to clear up over the past several days, and Nina was tired of just waiting for it to get better. She missed her friend and wanted to heal whatever wounds had festered between them since the incident.

Pushing off the door frame, Nina stepped fully inside Rachel's office and closed the door behind her. "I was hoping we could talk."

Rachel dropped her gaze. "I don't think this type of talk is appropriate for work."

Nina rested on the edge of Rachel's desk, cautiously watching for any signs of distress. "Maybe not, but I've invited you to my apartment to hash things out and you declined."

A plump bottom lip was worried between even teeth. "I don't think the apartment, once a shared space between us, would be neutral enough space."

"I can meet you at your house," Nina conceded. "Or we can go out for coffee. Whatever you want."

Rachel abruptly stood from her seat, feeling anxious and boxed in. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Nina gingerly grabbed a thin wrist as Rachel attempted to breeze past her. She held onto her with a lax grip when Rachel stopped with a sigh, and stroked her thumb across the rapidly beating pulse point below soft skin.

The choked sound of her voice shocked even her own ears as she stood up to murmur, "Rach, just know that…I'm trying here."

"I know," Rachel mumbled, glaring down at the ground.

The fact that she hardly made eye contact anymore was probably the most troubling for Nina. "It's hard to look at me sometimes, I get it."

Rachel's wrist flexed in Nina's hand. "No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

Her lower lip trembled, crumbling under the weight of so many unspoken words that, had they have been uttered earlier, could have prevented what happened that night. Still, Rachel couldn't bring herself to say them now, feeling self-conscious and foolish. "Don't make me say it."

Nina swallowed. "Rachel, I don't ever want to make you do or say anything you aren't willing to ever again."

Rachel's chest heaved, full to burst with overwhelming emotions that shined clearly in her eyes when she finally met Nina's gaze. Everything was laid bare despite the fact that Rachel wished otherwise, and she knew Nina could see it all by the widening of dark brown eyes that had never looked as insecure as they did in this moment. "I didn't want you to see _this_," Rachel explained in a whisper, knowing Nina would understand.

A hand rose to cup her cheek in an offer of comfort, and Rachel shivered at the feel of Nina's proximity. Her body heat lit Rachel on fire, longing unfurling in the pit of her stomach as Nina's scent wafted around them. She was just short enough to be eye level with protruding collarbones, and with Nina's unassuming fingers on the back of her neck, Rachel had the desire, the very _urge_ to lean forward and nuzzle them.

Her breathing began to grow labored, under the assault on her senses, and that was when she felt Nina's fingers slip from behind her neck as she stepped away.

Nina took a step back toward the desk where her hands gripped the wooden edge behind her in a vice-like grip for self-control. She hadn't known things could get out of hand this quickly with her former roommate. Her sensitivities were sometimes overlooked by Nina until moments like this presented themselves.

Rachel inhaled a shaky breath as awareness began to sweep through her once more. Her jaw dropped in shock at her own actions, her own thoughts. She couldn't bring herself to speak.

Nina licked her lips. "I just don't—I don't want you to—" She sighed and took a moment to string her jumbled thoughts together. "I don't want to assume that you want this, or that you want to _act_ on this," she mumbled. Her voice was considerably lower, washing over Rachel's ears. "But if you do, I want you to be—coherent enough to make the decision. I don't ever want to push you again, and I don't want you to push yourself…unless this is something you actually want to explore."

Rachel folded her arms across her middle, feeling out of sorts as her mind battled against the heat in the pit of her stomach. She bit her bottom lip as her brow furrowed. "Can I just have time?" she asked in a soft voice.

"Take all the time you need," Nina assured, hope blossoming in her chest at the fact that this wasn't an outright rejection. "We're friends first, Rachel. And as your friend, I just want you to be comfortable around me—in whatever way you choose to have me around."

Her words were sobering, dousing the flames that had so abruptly flared within Rachel. But they were also comforting, the reassurance that wherever they would go from here—

Nina would always be there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Aftermath

**Pairing: **Nina Theroux/Rachel Pirzad

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **The aftermath of Nina pushing Rachel to kiss her opens up a can of worms that neither girl was prepared to deal with.

**A/N: **Just wanted to quickly say thank you to everyone who's been reviewing this story thus far. I've noticed a few Glee people have hopped on board; welcome! It's always awesome when people are willing to cross over fandoms with me. I also wanted to add that I now (finally) have a Tumblr. The link to it is on my profile. So if you want to talk shipping or just general character stuff, drop me a line. I love discussing characters. Thanks again!

* * *

"How are you doing with having Nina around?"

"Fine. I'm doing fine; why wouldn't I be fine? Do you think I'm not fine, Dr. Rosen?"

Dr. Rosen dipped his head to hide an amused smile. "No, I don't think you're not doing fine, Rachel. It's just a routine question."

Rachel eased back into her seat and crossed one leg over the other. She tugged on the hem of her blouse. "Nina's really done a one-eighty, hasn't she?"

"She's improved rather quickly," he admitted. "Though I never had doubts. I've worked with Nina for years, and she always comes out on the winning end of things."

She smiled at that. "I'm sure she does."

"I've noticed the two of you have been…communicating a lot more lately," he hedged cautiously after a moment.

Rachel stiffened. "Dr. Rosen, I'm not…really comfortable discussing that."

He nodded. "Understood."

"It's just," she continued despite her previous statement, "I love Nina, Dr. Rosen. She's my best friend."

"It's understandable. The two of you have a pretty intimate bond."

"That word: intimate." Her eyes narrowed in thought. "I don't really _do_ intimacy, Dr. Rosen."

Dr. Rosen rubbed at his chin. This was a conversation he and Rachel had had many times before, but never in reference to Nina. "You can do intimacy. It would just require a lot more patience and practice considering your abilities," he reminded, as he always did.

Rachel sighed. She gesticulated with her hands. "I wasn't—we're not discussing physical intimacy with…Nina, correct?"

"We are discussing whatever you wish to with whomever you wish."

"Because your previous statement about Nina and I having an intimate bond, that was referencing how close we are emotionally…as friends, correct?"

"Yes, that was initially what I meant. Then you commented on how you don't 'do intimacy' which would reference physical intimacy, what we've talked about in the past." When Rachel ducked her head, he almost smiled, gently telling her, "Rachel, there is nothing wrong about feeling that way about Nina."

Rachel tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and shook her head. "No, you're right. But this is my friend; also this is the woman who took advantage of me in such a vulnerable state."

Dr. Rosen didn't respond, allowing Rachel to work through this by herself without any outside input.

"And I care about her, I do. And I know she feels the same way. She felt so guilty, and she's been trying really hard to make it up to me." Rachel licked her lips. She folded her arms across her chest and glanced away. "And I know I'm probably not making this easy for her."

"What do you mean?" Dr. Rosen asked, unassumingly.

She grew sheepish again and inhaled a deep breath. "My senses—I can't really…_control_ them around her. I've never really been able to, but it's been worse as of late. And considering what's happened between us, what is happening between us, it has to be difficult for her."

"Is it difficult for you?"

Rachel simply nodded and dropped her gaze.

Dr. Rosen sat forward in her seat. "Rachel, this is nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm supposed to be upset, Dr. Rosen," she explained. "Yes, I forgive her. But…I don't know if it should be that simple."

"That's something you'll have to decide for yourself," he admitted. "I can't sway your opinion one way or another on whether or not beginning a relationship with Nina right now would be a smart move. All I can do is assure you that your sensitivities are natural and can only get better with patience, Rachel. You can't wish your reactions away."

"It's just—we already have a lot to deal with. The aftermath of the incident, the fact that we have feelings for each other—if we rush into this because I can't control myself, I'm afraid I'll ruin it."

"Perhaps you should discuss this with Nina," he lightly suggested.

Rachel just shot him a miserable look. "Is there anything else you suggest?"

"Maybe taking a look inside yourself. Do a little digging, Rachel, a little introspection. List all the things you feel."

"I miss her," she immediately told him. "I miss how close we used to be. She's the closest I've been to anyone, physically, since my last boyfriend, and I miss it."

Dr. Rosen nodded. "It was intimate, what the two of you had. Not physically, at least, not sexually."

Rachel bit into her thumb as countless thoughts bombarded her mind. She felt it impossible to express how she was feeling, the conflicting feeling of wanting more with Nina and feeling apprehensive all the same, how she yearned for how intimate they used to be, curled up on the couch together watching T.V., yet felt skittish about the possibility of more.

"You should talk to her," Dr. Rosen suggested once again when she failed to continue talking with him.

Rachel looked over at him and released her thumb from between her teeth. "Yeah."

* * *

Timidly, Rachel knocked on the door to Nina's apartment. There was a box of Papa John's Pizza, Nina's favorite, balanced on her left hand, a peace offering.

Though they were already at peace with one another, somewhat. But Rachel had been taught impeccable manners, and knew it was rude to show up to someone's home empty handed, especially after prolonged absence.

The fact that this was now Nina's home, and no longer their shared home, hit her hard. It was the reason why she had never visited after she moved out after their little team of alphas disbanded for the first time. Everything looked familiar, the tiny crack in the wall above Nina's apartment door that only she could see. And everything sounded the same, the faint hum of the air conditioner from downstairs across the hall. It offered mild comfort to Rachel who began to grow more alert as she heard Nina's footfalls thump closer to the door.

The door opened, and Nina's shock shown in her widening eyes as she leaned heavily against her door. "Rachel," she mumbled. "Hi."

Rachel smiled tentatively and held up the pizza in her hand. "I thought that maybe we could hang out like old times. Eat, talk—just be girls for the night."

The sudden change in Rachel's tune from just a few days ago when she revealed she needed time to think about them came as a surprise to Nina, but she was never one to look a gift horse in its mouth. She licked her lips and stood back to motion for Rachel to enter. "Come on in."

Rachel stepped over the threshold and into the apartment to immediately look around for changes. She was nonplussed to find that Nina hadn't changed much. "The place looks great," she felt the need to say. She placed the pizza on the table in front of the couch and peeled off her jacket.

Nina watched Rachel with sharp eyes for a long moment, then cleared her throat and pushed off the door. "I'll go get us some drinks."

Rachel turned to look at her. "I've got it. Nothing's changed, right?"

Nina was still dumbfounded and could only nod as Rachel turned toward the kitchen.

Jittery, Rachel kept herself busy by uncorking a bottle of Nina's merlot and pouring the two of them a glass. She firmly told herself that this would be her only glass, a little liquid courage to actually talk to Nina, nothing more; she needed to be sober for this. The part that had her biting her lip in confusion was that she didn't really have a concrete idea of what she wanted to come from this night. All she knew at this point was that, yes, she was reluctant, but she also wanted more, something along the lines of what happened a few days ago in her office.

She grabbed two plates from inside the cabinets, then walked back into the living room to find Nina sitting on the couch, peeking inside the pizza box. The corner of Rachel's lips quirked upward at this brief glimpse of what was once domesticity for the two of them, sharing food and wine while they talked or watched T.V. on the sofa. How she would curl up to Nina and lie against her unassumingly.

Rachel sighed longingly for what they used to be. Nina looked up at her in befuddlement, and Rachel offered a forced smile as she walked further into the living room to sit beside her. She handed Nina a glass of wine and a plate before sitting her own on the table.

Nina held up the glass of red liquid gently sloshing about and arched an eyebrow. "Sure this is a good idea?"

Rachel wasn't particularly surprised that Nina had somewhat of a grasp on the situation that was forming around them; she was never good at being subtle, and Nina had a knack for picking up on emotions and social cues. She had to; the effectiveness of her abilities often depended on her being able to read people before pushing them.

Rachel sat her pizza down on her plate and grabbed a napkin to wipe grease from her hands before facing Nina. "I'm not…sure about much of anything right now," Rachel admitted. "But I—this is—I want this, Nina. And I'm so terrified." When the hopeful expression that had blossomed onto Nina's face disappeared, Rachel was quick to continue. "Not because of what happened—not entirely. Just—I don't know if I can be with you, kiss you, touch you and have you touch me without being overwhelmed."

Food long forgotten, Nina leaned back and crossed her legs, draping a long arm along the back of the couch as she faced Rachel. "Rach, your abilities shouldn't stop you from living your life. I've told you that, and Dr. Rosen has told you that."

"But neither of you have experienced firsthand how frustrating it is to be with me," Rachel explained morosely, pleading with Nina to understand.

Nina's eyes narrowed. "I don't know who told you that, but whatever idiot guy had the nerve to tell you that you're frustrating to be with just because you're different needs to jump off a cliff."

"Nina—"

"No, Rachel." Nina's expression turned grim with irritation. "_I'm_ frustrating to be with. I use my abilities to take advantage of people who mean the most to me in this world. I would argue that I'm impossible to deal with. You, on the other hand," she began, lips pulling upward into a smirk, "you just happen to be different, a _good_ different, a fascinating different."

Rachel sucked in a breath and dropped her gaze. There was that word again: fascinating. She had been called a lot of things in her life: high-maintenance, freak, a fun-sponge by her cousins when they would have sleepovers as children and she would ask them to quiet down when they were too loud. But no one had ever called her fascinating, and no one had ever looked at her quite the way Nina did. It was a mixture of desire and intrigue, as if Nina couldn't wait to explore her.

It was a heady feeling, to be desired not just by anyone, but by _Nina_. The tall, statuesque brunette with killer legs and alluring eyes—Nina could have anyone. To have Nina sit on the other end of the couch and stare at her so intently already made Rachel feel intoxicated as she drank her first sip of wine.

"I beg to differ," Rachel finally spoke up, and Nina was quick to refuse.

"Rachel—"

"I don't think you're…_impossible_ to be with, Nina. I've lived with you for months—"

"And you left," Nina pointed out softly, remorsefully with a small frown.

"Not because of you, because of me," Rachel clarified. "I left because we had all disbanded, and I didn't think I'd be able to function in the real world without Dr. Rosen. So I moved back in with my parents and shut myself off from the world until he made me get out and actively work toward controlling my abilities again instead of letting them control me."

Nina sunk further into the couch with a sigh, and Rachel scooted closer. "I've lived with you for months, Nina. You're a very considerate person. You're extremely protective of me." Rachel laughed a little at memories of just how fiercely protective Nina could be sometimes. "You made a mistake, Nina," Rachel sighed. "A big one, but we all let our abilities control us sometimes. Just look at me." She took a long sip of her wine then placed the glass back on the table. "Can we just—try? To be normal, to be us for a little while and see how it goes?"

Slowly, Nina leaned forward, considering her options. This offer to be _them_ again was certainly different from what Rachel wanted a few days ago—time. But maybe she had taken the time already and decided that she was willing to try. Nina scrutinized Rachel for a moment, trying to figure her out, then swiped up the remote from the table to flick on the T.V. "I think _Hitch_ is still on."

Rachel's eyes shined as normalcy befell the two of them once more for the first time in months.

_Hitch_ was a favorite guilty pleasure that Nina had tricked Rachel into watching one day. She had lured Rachel to the couch with the promise of a gripping television drama. Ten minutes later, Rachel was tucked into Nina's side and too comfortable, too content while wrapped up in Nina's scent and the feel of Nina's bare arm pressing against her to move away.

They ate in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Rachel was engrossed in nostalgia fueled by how good Nina smelled right now from beside her. She could feel Nina's body heat radiating off her from mere inches away and was surprised at how much her body wanted to lean into Nina. She polished off the slice of pizza audibly and inhaled a shaky breath when Nina turned to look at her.

"It's good," Rachel chirped in a voice just a tad too chipper as she gulped down a sip of her wine.

Nina dragged her tongue along her lower lip as she regarded Rachel, but didn't reply. She turned back to the movie and smoothed her twitchy hands down her own thighs. It was more than obvious to Nina what Rachel had come for now. But it was also obvious that Rachel was still nervous, about her abilities, about the incident.

Impulsive by nature, Nina was also an observant soul. There were times in which she acted without thought, but there were also times, like now, in which she sat back to examine the situation at hand and how to best proceed from there.

She decided that, ultimately, when and how they progressed needed to be Rachel's decision. In the long run, it would be best for them. What was excruciating was the way Rachel was looking at her right now. She had a drop of wine on her lower lip that she purposefully licked off as she stared up at Nina.

Nina was more than sure that if she leaned forward right now and kissed her, Rachel wouldn't pull away.

"What are you thinking about?" Rachel asked into the thickening tension between them.

Nina ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. "This is nice," she decided on instead.

Rachel's posture drooped at the admission. She bit her lip with a small smile. "It is, isn't it?"

"I miss this," Nina whispered.

Rachel exhaled audibly, and scooted that much closer. She reminded Nina of a bunny, unsure, a touch untrusting, but too curious to resist. "I've missed this, too." Her hand rose in the dwindling space between them as if she was going to touch Nina, then Rachel curled her hand into a fist that sunk into the couch cushion between them.

And this could have been their moment to take things a step further. Nina could have completely capitalized on whatever spur-of-the-moment decision Rachel made to show up at her apartment. But instead, she gestured to the T.V. when Kevin James's character began to dance. Rachel turned to the screen and erupted into peals of laughter, more carefree than Nina had heard her sound in months.

Throughout her laughter, Rachel sank back into the space just below Nina's arm resting along the back of the couch. She leaned back into Nina's soft body, the side of her breast pressing into her back, and Rachel sighed languidly at the feel of it all. Her senses buzzed with a low hum of satisfaction. Nina's scent was that much closer, and Rachel closed her eyes and took her in with a deep inhale. And every time Nina spoke, her voice a lulling purr that dragged lazily with the aid of a glass of wine, Rachel turned her head just a tad to the left to hear her even more.

She didn't _do_ intimacy, not normally. But Nina made Rachel want to try, made her want to get past all of this and get back to who they were and what they originally meant to each other. She wanted the end results without doing all the work, but her discussion with Dr. Rosen forced her to deal with the fact that…she had to work for what she wanted with Nina, starting with showing up at her apartment with a box of pizza and downing and entire glass of wine until her body liquefied and molded into Nina's side the way it had now.

Movie long forgotten, Nina leaned down to bury her nose in Rachel's hair. And she didn't have Rachel's keen sense of hearing, but the moment she pressed her lips to the back of Rachel's head, Nina was sure she heard Rachel sigh.

It wasn't entirely different from how they interacted when Rachel lived with her, barring the kiss to the back of her head. But Nina still felt this was progress anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Aftermath

**Pairing: **Nina Theroux/Rachel Pirzad

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **The aftermath of Nina pushing Rachel to kiss her opens up a can of worms that neither girl was prepared to deal with.

* * *

The back of her eyelids were warm, exuding a reddish glow that alerted Nina to the fact that it was morning. The sun was shining into the room from some unknown window nearby.

…And there was this funny weight on her chest that warmed her.

Her eyes were bleary when she blinked them open. They squinted in protest of the bright sunny morning then found a bare white wall on the other side of the room. Awareness began to tickle her brain. She was at her house, but not in her bedroom. Springs poking into her lower back that were going to cause back pains later indicated that she was on the living room couch.

And the weight on her chest?

Nina blinked before looking down to dark, silky hair fanning out across her chest and arms.

Rachel.

Her fist was curled into Nina's shirt, just above her breast where Rachel clung as she lay stretched out on top of Nina.

It wasn't unfamiliar territory. Wine often tired Rachel, and she had preferred a glass or two just before bed back when she and Nina lived together. Falling asleep on the couch with Rachel's head on her chest hadn't happened in a while, however.

Nina clenched her eyes shut against the scent of Rachel's hair tickling memories that made her eyes sting. The amount of trust that lay in not only Rachel coming to her apartment to begin with but actually _falling_ _asleep_ with her on the couch startled Nina. She hadn't expected all of this, any of this, and felt so undeserving.

She fidgeted in discomfort of her own dark thoughts rearing their heads, and Rachel moaned in protest.

Nina stilled and held her breath.

"Your heart is beating entirely too fast, and loudly," Rachel grumbled. She yawned then rubbed at her eyes. "What's wrong?"

A breath stuttered past Nina's lips as Rachel crawled closer to bury her face into her neck. "Nothing," she whispered.

Rachel knew a lie when she heard one, but decided it was too early to get into the semantics of why she had spent the night instead of driving back home, why they were lying pressed against each other on the couch. For once, she found herself not wanting to over-analyze. She wanted to just be.

A lazy hum vibrated her lips before she spoke. "I forgot how much sun this window got so early in the morning."

Nina smiled. She wrapped an arm around the back of Rachel's neck and cradled her head with her other hand. "Too bright?"

"A little," Rachel admitted, brow crinkling in discomfort.

"Take your time." Nina's voice was gentle, coaxing as she spoke. "Be patient and allow yourself to adjust."

The normalcy of talking Rachel through her overwhelming senses loosened the tension in Nina's shoulders as her mind preoccupied itself with providing comfort for Rachel until equilibrium was restored within her.

Rachel sighed and sank further into Nina's embrace. It wasn't an order she was willing to refute, not when her nose could keenly pick up a scent that was distinctly Nina, sans perfume. She could smell the faint salt and overall sweet quality of Nina's natural scent, and hummed a contented sigh as she brushed the silk of Nina's blouse with the pad of her thumb.

Nina's fingers stroked along the back of her neck. "Just breathe," she instructed.

And Rachel did, except her breathing was labored in response to the steady pressure of long fingers kneading the back of her neck, pushing her further into Nina's scent and her mind spiraling into dizziness.

Rachel pulled back enough to wet her lips and release a long breath that fanned out along the column of Nina's throat.

Immediately Nina's hands stilled. Their joint breathing was all that could be heard in the silent room.

It was predictable who would react first, and Rachel's head shot up from Nina's neck to get a good look at her face. "I'm really sorry. Sometimes I can get a little out of hand."

Nina braced her hands on Rachel's lower back to ground her from her unraveling anxiety. "It's okay," she breathed in a thick voice that made Rachel swallow. The gesture wasn't lost on Nina who was still trying to get a handle on the very real fact that her best friend wanted her. Biting her lip in contemplation as she posed her own little experiment, Nina walked her fingers up Rachel's back. She took in the way Rachel squirmed and how her eyelashes fluttered before heavy lidded eyes stared down at her. Nina pushed a lock of hair behind Rachel's ear and cupped the side of her neck. "Good morning?" she prompted.

Rachel gave a vague nod and leaned down further into Nina's touch. Her voice was shallow and little more than a breath when she responded. "Good morning." Her lips parted as if she was going to say more, though no words were uttered.

Nina carefully brushed her thumb around the corner of Rachel's mouth, testing the waters. Her jaw clenched with nervousness as she stared deeply into Rachel's eyes. She feared Rachel would look away, that it would be difficult to trust her enough to maintain eye contact for a long period of time. But all she saw in Rachel's eyes were wonder and longing that pooled in the pit of Nina's stomach. She tugged on the corner of a pink mouth. It stretched, and Rachel's lips quirked into a half smile that appeared almost flirtatious.

Nina sucked in a breath and released it noisily. "So, what are you doing today?" she asked, her normal tone of voice jarring the both of them out of their little moment.

Rachel reared back and blinked dark eyes down at Nina. "I'm…not sure." She readjusted herself to lie beside Nina instead of on top of her. Her eyes darted around the luminous apartment before they landed on Nina's that seem to shine even brighter. "What about you?"

Nina glanced away. Her eyes crinkled in the corners the way Rachel adored, the way that always gave away just how happy Nina was at any given moment.

"I don't know. Lazy Saturday?" Nina offered, and Rachel grinned.

"I'd like that." She traced Nina's profile with her eyes and bit her lip to stifle a giddy smile. "Breakfast?" This all felt so _normal_ once again after feeling abnormal and broken for so long.

Nina tilted her head to stare at Rachel. "Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great, actually."

Rachel instantly hopped into motion. She climbed over Nina, smile full force now. "I've perfected my omelet while I've been away."

Nina stretched along the length of the couch with a yawn. "Have you?"

Rachel turned to find Nina staring up at her from the sofa. Her once pressed blouse that had been tucked into her skirt was now rumpled and un-tucked, but her disheveled appearance in no way detracted from her beauty. Rachel's nose scrunched up as she stared down at her and, without thought, she stepped closer and leaned down.

Nina sighed when soft lips brushed the corner of her mouth. Rachel pressed her face against Nina's profile. She fisted her hand into Nina's shirt and tugged lightly. "I needed this," she whispered.

Rachel's presence around her was a balm that banished all of Nina's darker thoughts of how undeserving she felt. But Nina knew Rachel, and knew that her best friend never did anything she didn't truly want to do.

Unless she was being pushed.

But she wasn't right now, because Nina could barely garner enough self-control for even herself, let alone controlling anyone else. "I think we both did," she ended up choking out.

Rachel pulled back with a grin, then stood up straight and walked around the coffee table toward the kitchen. "Now come on, sleepy head. Freshen up and we can make breakfast."

In response, Nina just tilted her head to watch Rachel walk into the kitchen. She smiled a little to herself, then stood from the couch.

Breakfast was uneventful, though Rachel was right; her omelet was divine. She was currently resting back against the counter. Nina was on the other side of the kitchen, a few paces away washing dishes that she insisted upon since Rachel was gracious enough to prepare breakfast.

Rachel wouldn't have minded washing dishes, because this all made her feel like she was once again a permanent fixture in the apartment, a cohabiter instead of a guest.

Just standing in the kitchen made Rachel aware of how just how much she missed this place, how much she missed Nina who was now dressed in a pair of light blue pants that she typically lounged around in and a dark gray cotton shirt. Her hair traveled down her shoulders in rivulets, and Rachel followed every lock closely until she found herself concentrating on the lean muscles in Nina's back that flexed with each dish she washed.

It was simple biology, the fluidity of muscles and the way the muscles in Nina's upper back traveled down until they were muscles in Nina's lower back, her backside, her hamstrings, even down to her calves that flexed when Nina leaned to the side to place a plate in the dish drain.

Rachel sighed, longingly, and shifted her weight to her other foot.

"What are you thinking about back there?" Nina tossed over her shoulder.

She cleared her throat and elevated her line of sight. "Living with you," she answered, timidity creeping into her voice. It wasn't a complete lie. "I—I've missed it."

Her blatant honesty at times had never been more appreciated by Nina than in this moment. She dried her hands on a nearby dish towel then swiveled around to face Rachel. "Your room's always open," she said, gesturing to the back of the apartment where the bedrooms were.

Rachel took a half step forward, then hesitated. "It's still the same? You didn't turn it into an office or anything?" Her voice was mystified as if she had expected her presence to be forgotten by Nina the second she moved out.

Nina's smile was all-knowing as she smugly folded her arms across her chest. "I already have an office at work, so no. It's still the way you left it." Bare. Rachel had left it bare, but Nina didn't voice that thought.

Curious, Rachel continued walking out of the kitchen and into the back of the apartment where their bedrooms were. She bypassed Nina's, where her scent was strongest, and continued to her former room.

The door was ajar, and Rachel placed a hand on it and heard the familiar creak it made as it opened further. The first thing she noticed was how empty it truly was. How the faint hiss of her breathing almost echoed off the walls. It still smelled like her, and only her.

She pulled her eyes away from the bleak mattress across the room to find Nina leaning back against the hallway wall. Rachel stepped toward her. "You haven't been in here?"

Nina stared hard at the empty bedroom, then glanced down at Rachel. "I wanted it to still smell like you—for if you ever came back." Her lips quirked as she mumbled, "I know how much you dislike foreign smells in your personal space."

"I wouldn't have minded yours," Rachel responded on the heel of Nina's statement. But she was touched, nonetheless, that Nina took her comfort into consideration. As if to prove her point, she soldiered forward, into Nina's personal space where she breathed her scent in with a deep, quiet inhale. "And you—you're not foreign, Nina. I know the way you smell like the back of my hand." Her words flew out of her mouth as she implored Nina to understand so many words Rachel had left unspoken. She released a nervous breath. "It's…comforting. And it's home."

Nina's expression softened at the declaration. She found herself at a loss for words as Rachel stared up at her with complete adoration.

Rachel swallowed thickly in the deafening silence. Her jaw clenched in indecision before her lips parted. "I've missed it," she whispered. "I've missed _you_, Nina—so very much."

Long fingers ghosted along Rachel's cheekbone, and she sank into the haunting touch with a yearning sigh. Nina found she couldn't _not_ touch Rachel when she spoke this way. "I've missed you, too, Rach."

Nina felt her lean closer, felt the way Rachel's skin brushed her fingertips in passing, but could do little more than catch Rachel with her own body as she leaned fully into her.

The press of Rachel's breasts against her own was overwhelming.

But not nearly as overwhelming as the press of her lips, warm and velvety, and everything that Nina remembered them to be.

Her eyes screwed shut.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Aftermath

**Pairing: **Nina Theroux/Rachel Pirzad

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **The aftermath of Nina pushing Rachel to kiss her opens up a can of worms that neither girl was prepared to deal with.

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who's ever reviewed this story. I'll end it here and maybe write a few one-shots chronicling Nina and Rachel's progression from here on out. Thanks again for reviewing! :)

* * *

Rachel could feel Nina everywhere.

Every time her chest expanded with a ragged breath, she could feel Nina closer, always closer the way Rachel needed her to be. She felt sure hands and long fingers settle on her waist and sighed a moan against Nina's lips as she attempted to get that much closer.

Her fingers twined in Nina's hair with need as she tugged Nina closer. The familiar scent of the woman she had come to love seemed to burst through her nostrils. With every heavy inhale Rachel felt herself grow more intoxicated. She curled her fingers into the back of Nina's skull while her other hand molded fondly against her face, brushing a flushing cheek with her thumb. It was warm to the touch and made her knees week. She felt herself slipping as her tongue slid along the seam of Nina's lips but she couldn't bring herself to _care_, especially not when she heard the muffled, breathy moan tumbling from Nina's lips.

It was accompanied by fingers tightening around Rachel's hip, digging for purchase, for _more_ as Nina kissed her back with just as much enthusiasm. The fact that this act, this second chance, was consensual wasn't lost on her, and only spurred Nina's deep seated need to have Rachel in ways she had only imagined.

Nina felt Rachel pull away, a ragged gust of air brushing across her face.

"Nina…"

Rachel's voice was liquid that flowed right to the core of Nina. She smiled a serene grin while her eyes remained closed. "Hmm?"

The next thing she knew, Rachel's grip had renewed in vigor and their lips were fused together once more.

Nina's fingers flexed on Rachel's hips before she garnered enough self-control to push her away. Their lips parted, and Nina inhaled a shaky breath, feeling cold now that they had separated.

Rachel stared up at her with dazed, heavy lidded eyes before they widened and she gasped in horror before completely ripping herself away from Nina's arms. Her hands found her face, felt how warm her cheeks were as awareness came crashing down around her. "I'm so, so sor—"

"I'm not," Nina whispered once and for all. She stepped forward to wrap her hand around Rachel's wrist. Her thumb brushed a thundering pulse point. "This time I'm not sorry," she continued, staring directly into Rachel's glazed eyes. "And I don't think you are either."

Rachel bit her lip, gaze dipping in embarrassment at her actions and surprise by Nina's words. She inhaled a deep breath then met Nina's gaze once more through her eyelashes. "I'm not sorry," Rachel admitted in a soft voice.

Nina took that as her cue to step even closer. The way Rachel naturally swayed toward her body lit her insides on fire. It took everything she had not to curl her hands around Rachel's waist again and tug her mouth closer, to devour it completely and show Rachel what her body could really do.

Instead, Nina took a calming breath. She tilted her head to the side and cupped Rachel's cheek. "Then this is something you want?" she asked for further clarification.

Rachel's breath hitched at the steady warmth the palm of Nina's hand provided. "Nina, I—" She licked her lips and her eyes seemed to blaze with certainty that had yet to present itself when she continued. "I've wanted this, for a very long time."

"I think we should talk." Nina nodded to herself. "How about we take a few days to gather our thoughts, and when we're ready, we'll discuss them."

"Wednesday," Rachel spoke up. Her gaze was steady as she held Nina's eyes. "Have dinner with me Wednesday. We can go out somewhere and just talk."

Her initiative to get things started made Nina smile, a crooked grin that made heat rise to Rachel's cheeks.

"I'm holding you to this dinner, regardless of how you decide we proceed from here," Nina informed her, a throaty purr to her voice.

Rachel bit her lip to stifle a smile. "I look forward to it."

* * *

Work was impossible. Nina felt like she was in grade school again, complete with a high school crush on the cute, quiet girl that no one knew anything about. Her hands grew restless, fingers working double time on the keyboard with the knowledge that Rachel was just right next door, in her office working.

Dr. Rosen eyed her for a moment. "How are you, Nina?"

Her fingers stopped immediately as she gazed up at him with bright eyes. "I'm great, Dr. Rosen. The best I've been in a while."

She flashed him a quiet smile, then put her head down and got back to work, failing to notice the ghost of a proud smile on his face.

* * *

For once in her life, Nina didn't feel pretty enough. It was a silly notion, really. She knew she was beautiful, had been told so all her life by men and women alike.

But…this was her chance with Rachel, _her_ Rachel who had lived in her apartment, down the hall from her for months in what came to be known as the sweetest torture.

This was, for all intents and purposes, Nina's chance, her only chance. She had managed to regain Rachel's trust as a friend, and more than anything, Nina wanted to prove that she could be trusted with Rachel's heart as well.

Her phone began to ring and Nina jumped, tightening her grip around the steering wheel as she eased to a halt in front of the red light. She blew out a shaky breath and fished her phone out of her purse in the passenger seat. "Hello?"

It was silent on the other line for a moment then Rachel told her, "Your voice pattern is far too stressed for this little dinner, Nina." Her voice grew soothing. "Take a deep breath, okay? And don't crash. I need you here, with me."

Warm intimacy laced the end of her sentence, and Nina sank back into her seat. The light turned green and she eased into motion with a quirk of her eyebrow. "Did you call because you knew I'd be a mess?"

"Actually, I called to inform you that I'm here."

Nina glanced down to the clock above the radio. "You're fifteen minutes early," she pointed out. Her tone was light and teasing as she asked, "You do know that, right?"

She couldn't see Rachel's blush, but knew it was there anyway by the demure tone of her voice. "I think it's important to be punctual for a date."

Nina stomped down the urge to ask Rachel to confirm what she had just said. She swallowed inaudibly and rolled her shoulders back, willing the butterflies in her stomach to calm. "How very right you are," she replied airily. She glanced over at the car beside her before flicking on her signal light. "I'll be there soon." She disconnected the call, and slid smoothly into the next lane.

* * *

"Table for two, please, under Theroux."

The waiter adjusted his bowtie. An amused smile ghosted across his lips that made Nina narrow her eyes. "She said you'd attempt this," he responded, as if attempting to explain the smile on his face. "The table is under the name Pirzad. She said she was paying for the bill."

Nina's shoulders tightened. "We'll see about that," she muttered to herself. Perking up, she told the man, "Take me to her," and was escorted through the restaurant a moment later.

Upon first sight of her, Nina forgot all previous thoughts of squabbling over who would pay the bill. Rachel looked gorgeous. Adorned in a golden dress that made her skin glow, she looked over and up at Nina with dark chocolate eyes accentuated by the eye liner she was wearing that made her look all the more alluring.

Nina's steps slowed as she approached the table, gripping the chair opposite Rachel. The waiter seemed to pick up on his cue to exit and politely excused himself.

Rachel cleared her throat. "Nina—" Her name was little more than a breath on the tip of her tongue as she dragged her eyes down her friend's svelte frame. A navy dress draped dramatically over pale shoulders and clung to a narrow waist and hips like a second skin. "You look so beautiful," Rachel breathed. She inhaled a deep breath and her eyes fluttered, darkening. "And you smell so good."

The nervousness she had felt while driving over was completely obliterated the second Rachel's hungry gaze landed on her with such finality, as if after surveying the entire room, Rachel had decided that Nina was all she wanted.

Grabbing the chair before her, Nina slid into her seat with a crooked grin. Her voice was low when she finally spoke. "You look gorgeous, Rach."

It was predictable, but no less amazing for Nina when Rachel reddened at the compliment, smiled bashfully, and looked away. It was charming, and Nina tilted her head to the side and observed her in silence.

Rachel fidgeted with the hem of her dress before she admitted, "I had been waiting, rather impatiently, for this day."

Nina nodded her agreement with a self-deprecating laugh. "It's been a long three days of work."

Rachel glanced up to meet Nina's eyes with an intensity that conveyed more than her words ever could. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad that you agreed to this…whatever this is," Nina countered.

"What do you want this to be?"

She released a shaky breath, surprised by her own anxiety. But her voice held steady, confident. "I think it's obvious what I want, Rachel."

Rachel licked her lips.

"Can I get you ladies anything?"

Nina crossed her legs, and Rachel leaned back in her seat. Neither one had noticed how much they had gravitated toward each other.

"Two glasses of red wine, please," Nina spoke up for the both of them. She glanced over at Rachel rubbing the back of her neck, and met the waiter's gaze again. "And I think we're ready to order."

At that, Rachel perked up. "Yes, we're kind of regulars here," she informed the waiter with a charming little laugh. "So we've kind of fallen into the habit of getting the same thing."

He flashed them a polite smile and took their orders before politely excusing himself.

Once he was out of sight, Nina sighed. "That should keep him away for a while." She steepled her fingers together and placed her hands on her knee under the table. "I think it's important that we…discuss what happened that night." She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as Rachel went silent for a moment.

"I—Nina, I wanted to hate you," Rachel admitted with reluctance, and sorrow, and guilt weighing down her voice. "That night," she forced herself to continue. "I wanted to hate you because I hurt _so_ _much_ that night, and I wanted it to stop."

Crescent moon indentations were being carved into Nina's legs with each passing second that Rachel's voice wavered with such ferocity. It had been a long time coming, and though listening to her best friend confess how much she wanted to hate her squeezed Nina's heart close to breaking, she knew that they wouldn't be able to move forward until they actually dealt with the incident.

"Look at me."

Rachel's voice had steadied in the time that Nina had dropped her worried gaze and furrowed brow to fixate in her lap. Her eyes rolled to the far walls of the restaurant, feeling slightly claustrophobic before she looked up to meet the challenge in Rachel's eyes, the dare that told Nina that she had the choice of either staying and making it work or leaving it all behind, and tomorrow they could go back to being coworkers and tentative friends.

Nina chewed on the butterfly that tickled her lip and swallowed the rest to let them wallow around in her stomach. She held Rachel's eyes steady as Rachel spoke again.

"I felt so betrayed, so cheap, and so _used_."

Nina opened her mouth to speak, but an uncharacteristically sharp look from Rachel caused her mouth to clamp shut once more.

Round, brown eyes began to glisten and Rachel blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. "And I wondered how could Nina, how could my very best friend do this to me. And you know what? I didn't have an answer."

Nina leaned forward in her seat as if she was ready to leave it at any moment and sprint around the table to wrap Rachel in her arms. "You said you wanted to hate me. Why didn't you?" she asked. A shoulder shrugged almost helplessly. "Why don't you?"

Rachel gurgled out a humorless laugh and wiped at the corner of her eye. "Because I love you," she replied emphatically as if the answer should be obvious. "I'm _in_ love with you, Nina, and I have been for some time."

The soft declaration pulled a smile out of Nina despite the heaviness of the conversation. She placed a tentative hand on the maroon table cloth and scooted forward in her seat.

"I could never hate you," Rachel continued in a voice that threatened to whisper. "I was so angry and hurt, but I couldn't, I _can't_—"

She choked on a breath, and Nina was by her side in an instant. Hiking up the hem of her dress, Nina knelt on gentle knees and looked up at Rachel with startling determination before wrapping long arms around a trembling waist and tugging Rachel to her more stable frame.

Rachel leaned down to tuck her face into wisps of dark hair. With each inhale of Nina's sultry perfume, shampoo, and a smell that was uniquely her, Rachel could feel herself falling deeper.

"Say it's reciprocated, Nina, please," she found herself whispering in a form of desperation she had never felt.

Nina's reply was instant, confident. "It is." Her soft hands and long fingers trailed up Rachel's spine and reveled in the shiver it invoked. She tucked long strands of dark hair behind Rachel's ears then cupped the sides of her face. Nina felt her breath hitch at the sight of her. Rachel had never looked more beautiful, so vulnerable. "Rachel, I—" Nina rubbed her lips together, feeling laid bare and uncomfortable in front of the woman she loved. "It's been hell living right next door to you in my apartment and not _being_ with you." The mystified expression on Rachel's face made Nina chuckle with a self-deprecating shake of her head. "Do you know how hard it's been, having to give objective advice to you about your male suitors? Instead of just telling you to ditch them and be with me?"

Rachel giggled, a watery laugh as wet as her eyes. Her palm was warm when she cupped a pale cheek. "Nina…" she whispered. She had never sounded more in love.

Nina tilted her head into Rachel's hand, a coy smile tugging at her lips. "I love you, Rach."

* * *

She felt little tremors wrack the lithe body below her, and Nina placed a parting kiss to Rachel's neck to pull back and glance down at her face.

Rachel was flushed from her cheeks down to her chest that heaved with each breath and ached for attention she was ill-prepared to receive. Nina smiled, a tad smug and a tad sympathetic. She shifted to lay by Rachel's side, pressed tightly against her. Her hand combed through silky hair as Rachel's shaky breathing filled the silence.

"Too much?"

Rachel huffed in frustration. Her eyes screwed shut as she mentally berated herself. "I try so hard to be ready, but I just can't get it right and it's aggravating, and—"

"Hey, hey," Nina shushed. Her lips brushed against the shell of a sensitive ear and Rachel felt her skin prickle. Her sigh was languid as she seemed to just melt back into Nina's bed sheets. "Rach," Nina continued in the same voice that seemed to soothe Rachel best. The tip of her index finger traveled from Rachel's hairline, down the side of her face until she reached her chin. Applying the barest hint of force, Nina guided Rachel to face her. Deep, pitiful eyes met hers with reluctance, and Nina's smile renewed. "Rach, it's okay," she continued as her thumb brushed comfortingly across Rachel's cheek. It'll take time, I know that. And you know that, so there's no reason to be so upset."

Rachel dropped her gaze to the bed sheets. She saw commingling remnants of hers and Nina's dead skin, and really, there was nothing at all romantic about dead skin on bed sheets; but the fact that it was _theirs_ meant the world to her. "I just…I want to be good enough for you, Nina," she finally mumbled.

Nina's face softened at the gentle declaration. "Oh, Rachel." Her voice was little more than a murmur. "You're more than good enough for me. You're too good for me, I'd argue."

Rachel went to rebuff her claim, but Nina only leaned forward to press their lips together gently. The simple action made Rachel quake and moan into the kiss, completely forgetting what she was going to say.

"That's not very fair," Rachel murmured when Nina pulled back.

"Then you'll just have to get better at not reacting to me so fiercely," Nina replied with a wink.

Returning to the subject made Rachel's face elongate in dare Nina think it, a pout. "You'll just have to be patient with me."

"Oh, Rachel," Nina purred with a glint in her eyes. "I've waited this long just to get you in my bed. I think I can wait a little longer."

Though overtly flirtatious, the statement made Rachel feel more cared for than she had ever felt with any previous lover. She felt like she didn't have to be ready right then and there, that Nina would be patient with her and, equally importantly, she would be more than willing to help Rachel progress in this realm that Rachel had never felt comfortable exploring previously.

Rachel turned onto her side to face Nina. She wondered if the novelty of having Nina this way would ever wear off. Then Nina smiled in genuine happiness, and her face lit up the room, and suddenly Rachel doubted it ever would.

They had paved a hard road to get to this point.

But it was almost guaranteed that there would be smooth sailing from here.


End file.
